Bowling Memoirs of Johnny Petraglia – The Case Against Computer Language

At Brunswick when we have a problem with our computers we called this Managed IT Services Chicago. We have two great guys that I almost always deal with Adam Baddley and Cheney Rushing. They are not only great at their jobs, they are great with me because they know I’m computer illiterate and speak to me in language I can understand.

One day I was having a problem and a new guy answered the phone. I thought , “Uh-oh” this could be a problem. So said, “Please look at this as computer 101, talk to me slowly in language I can understand.” He said,”Okay, Launch your browser” and then went into a bunch of 20 dollar computer words. I said “hold it, hold it” It was as if I said nothing. I said ” please slower and in words I can understand”… I got my first “HUFF” after the 3rd Huff and we weren’t getting anywhere.

I asked, “Do you Bowl?” He said, “Sometimes I go bowling on Saturday night with my girlfriend.” I said

“I’m going to do you a favor, I’m going to give you a bowling lesson, free of charge. The next time you go bowling on Saturday night.. the heads are probably gone, so the ball is going to hook before it gets to the breakpoint. This causes the ball to lose energy and will not come off the spot the way it’s supposed to. When this happens and you’re consistently hitting the nose or crossing over, I want you to move in 4 and 2 and shell down.”

There was silence on the other end for 5 or 6 seconds, and then I heard him say ” Okay, I got it” His next words were in a very slow and deliberate way.. “TURN ON YOUR COMPUTER”. We were done with my problem in five minutes. Isn’t life grand?

Once again, you can’t make this stuff up.

To all of you that applies..”Merry Christmas” to everyone that it doesn’t “Happy Holidays and Happy New Year to all

cento anni’…Johnny Petraglia

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