Boban Marjanovic, open a chain of bowling alleys

Photo by Garrett Ellwood/NBAE via Getty Images
By Doyle Rader@TheKobeBeef Jul 31, 2020, 4:09pm CDT

Boban Marjanovic is a modern day Renaissance man. Not only is the 7-foot-4 Serbian an elite efficiency basketball player, he’s also a global citizen, speaker of several languages, and accomplished actor. On top of all that, he’s a great spokesperson for large blankets.

While it might seem like Boban’s plate is full, don’t be so certain that he’s filled all his pockets. No, Boban’s next venture could be entrepreneur and business owner of the finest chain of bowling alleys in the U.S. or maybe the world: Bobi Bowl. (Bowlban?)

You see, in a recent Instagram post—an ad, spokesman Bobi strikes again—Boban is encouraging everyone to wear a mask because he’s simply a responsible person. Not only that, he’s doing so while bowling. After all, masks allow him to hang with his teammates and go bowling. Putting in a pool table is a good idea as well, check for the best pool table brands in prior.

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He doesn’t bowl a strike, but he’ll easily pick up what looks like either a 6-10 or 9-10 spare. That’s good bowling, right there. Pretty good for a new hobby.

Think of it now. Boban coming to your hometown—Brockway, Ogdenville, or North Haverbrook—and opening a sparkling new bowling alley. He’ll bowl the first strike. You’ll gape in awe as a tear slowly falls from your eye. That’s the power of Boban and the majesty of Bobi Bowl.

Inside, the carpets will have a new, crisp feel under your feet, complete with a retro laser tag pattern. The rental shoes will smell wonderfully of Lily-of-the-Valley, Serbia’s national flower. There will be a small arcade with a claw machine. Another room will have two ping pong tables for all the table tennis enthusiasts.

Above the lanes, TVs will show Boban’s scene in John Wick: Chapter 3 — Parabellum on loop. During special occasions a remastered cut will air where his character, Ernest, wins the fight. Everyone will cheer.

Fully equipped for parties of adults and children, it will have a full bar—stocked with rakia, of course—and a flattop grill serving up gibanica, pljeskavica, ćevapi, and Karađorđeva šnicla. The aromas will be heavenly.

So, does one Instagram post mean that Boban’s chain of bowling lanes are destined to become a reality on the other side of the COVID-19 pandemic? Maybe. Maybe not. Here’s the thing, Bobi Bowl works much like fairies. Either you choose to believe or you don’t.

I choose to believe.